“Sorry to burst your bubble, but your spouse is not made to be your ‘other half’. God is. While it may seem like you can’t live without them, you can. This may seem harsh but I honestly believe couples need to hear it. You cannot expect your spouse to give you everything you need, because they never will. God still needs to be your life-source, your comforter, your daddy. The moment you place your spouse in a higher position that Christ is the moment you will find endless faults in them because they will never give you the wisdom and love that God will. Your spouse is there to compliment you and aid you on your journey with the Creator of the Universe!”
Our life is so much more than each other. We serve a powerful God and have a devil that surrounds us at every second just waiting for us to break. I’ve seen the post on Pinterest, just like everyone has that says, ” I want my heart to be so into God that a guy has to seek Him in order to find me”. It’s everything that love is about, and it’s more of what the world needs. We need God-fearing couples. Because we came into this world alone with out our soul-mate and most of the time we will leave the same. We need hearts to be so wrapped up in and in love for Jesus. We need to let Him guide us in the dark and celebrate him when times are so much more than what we could ever ask for. He created you into the perfect, beautiful, unique person that you are. He’s going to be the one that always wakes you up in the morning, He let’s you see another day. Remember to always praise him. Even in your relationships and marriages.
We’ve made it through thick and thin over the past 7 1/2 years. Sometimes it was super fun and completely easy. Other times I just wanted to give up everything we had just because we were miles apart and we argued over something piddly. Our relationship isn’t anything perfect, but we strive for that daily. We thank God daily for what we have.
We’ve communicated the best we can in the ways that are accessible to us. I stay up late just so I can work around his schedule just to text him about his day. In the fall I would count the hour difference from California or Colorado during his preseasons the past few years. I’d hang out with the guys just to be able to spend an hour with him after a game. I’d savor the sweet hours we had to spend on the weekends when we would drive home after a Saturdays soccer game late and turn and watch him leave on Sunday nights. I’d be that girl that cried on my trips back home just because I never understood why God chose this path for us. Why He wanted us to spend four years in High School getting to know each other, then to just move him away for the past four years. I traveled down the day he signed at Indiana Wesleyan and I never had a single thought that it would be hard, and that we would spend weeks apart at times. But I trusted him in every way shape and form. If God wanted us to be together for His good, we would make it. But most of all we would have to rely on our Faith to hold us up and keep us strong, keep our morals in check and that we would always remember who we are.
I will never forget how hard I cried the day I dropped him off at school and when his coach told the team that it was time to say good bye to family I melted in that room with the whole soccer team around. I don’t think anyone saw me, I hope as I had my ugly crying face on, sobbing and never wanting to let go of him. But the distance was hard the first few weeks, it was a different pace of life. And it got easier as I traveled to games and began beauty school in the fall. God also placed the people in my life when I needed them most, the times when all I wanted to do was cry because the distance hurt. They kept me accountable to stay strong and that the time would fly by before we knew it. I didn’t believe them then, but I do now.
I laid out all my trust in the Lord. I gave Seth all my trust, also. I never once thought about Seth going hours away and finding another girl. I always believed that in my heart I was his girl. I watched as Seth became close with many of the guys on the team, and I watched as the team developed into a family. I watched them hold each other tight and lift each other up. I watched as Seth’s Faith and Love for God grew and was out-pouring to others. I watched as my Faith grew, and as Seth challenged me in different ways to not be “luke warm” and to not always be that girl that just loved Jesus and went to church on Sundays. Seth showed me his heart that over flowed for his God. He showed me and challenged me in the ways I did devotions. We started doing them together and talking openly about our Faith more often and I watched our Faith grow together in our relationship. In all this distance, I had to seek God first. He already has my story wrote, and He knows I needed direction when it was hard. Even when I was the girl full of tears, he gave me answers. After all they were His.
Being miles away isn’t easy, but somewhere in my life it will be the easiest thing I ever did. I’m confident enough that God is using us and shaping and molding us into something so much greater than we already have planned for ourselves. We are optimistic to every open door that God brings us to, and grateful for every chapter that he closes. In almost 5 months I believe I will be marrying a man that loves his God more than me and I’m completely fine with that.
With Love, Jillian Lane