Come to Jesus Talks

Tuesdays are my days off. My run around with my head chopped off, let’s get everything done kinda day. Although most of the time Tuesday involves never getting out of my sweats and throwing my hair up. But today, I made myself an appointment at the post office in Goshen early this morning. So I got myself dressed for the day, since I am going out with two of my beautiful friends tonight too, so I guess it wasn’t a complete waste of make up for today.

While I was at the post office, the worker was a male, probably in his fifties and I wouldn’t consider him to look like a creeper, but he was a little flirty. As he took my picture he was having troubles, and probably tried at least 5 times until he got one that worked. Then after I was done he said now turn yourself to the right. I was kinda confused, but I did, then he said now the left and he chuckled. Then he blurts out, I really didn’t take those pictures, you should just be a model, you’re so photogenic. I laughed it off and said, you fooled me. And the thing is, I’m never really the gullible type. I guess this man was just having a good morning. Interesting, I laughed it off and told Seth I almost got snatched up by another man before we even took our honeymoon. Then I drove down the road to Kohl’s where I had to get some things taken off a registry. {Side Note: Kohl’s isn’t very good at taking items off the registry, not the first time} So then I strolled the store and dreamed a bit just thinking how nice it will be to have a home here soon and to cook. I can’t wait to cook, especially Pinterest you make it so difficult for me to have patients anymore these days!

So then I drove home. But always whenever I’m in my car alone, I find my mind wondering. I find myself talking to Jesus just thanking him for all that he has given me and the very many people that I am blessed with come into mind. Sometimes all I want to do is go find them and hug them, most of the time I resist. Until the song Never Give Up On Me by Josh Bates came on. We sing it in church and it gets me, but just listening to the lyrics brought tears to my eyes today just knowing that Jesus will never give up on me. I’ve had some stumbles in my road throughout this wedding planning process. Times when I asked him why he was throwing the largest defeats in my way when I was supposed to be nothing but extremely happy. Or times when everything around me crashed, and I never had Seth home, he would only get me on the other end barely able to speak through my tears. But then I was reminded how much I’ve grown from these experiences, how I grasped on to close friends and family, but most importantly my Jesus and my Faith pulled me through. I’m thankful that each and everyday God wakes me up with a new chance at life. A new day to be better than I was before. A day to grow more towards Him, and apologize for the days when I’ve made mistakes, or hurt others. I’ve seen him shine through me, I’ve seen the relationships that he is rekindling. Moments like these remind me to take a deep breath again and again and rely on Him through this all, even when my patients is running so low. Even when I feel like I have so much to day for one day, which will only in reality last five hours. He reminds me even in all my inpatients that through my waiting there will be a place for me to live and he won’t leave me stranded. Through this whole process of wedding planning and finding a future home, in reality it has all brought me closer to Him. It may not have been the wedding it’s self, but it’s been the struggles getting there that remind me that I have the most amazing group of family and friends there beside me on that day to celebrate us. To celebrate waiting a long eight years, when we finally never have to say good bye, but only good night. Times that I could only dream of are becoming so real, and they are coming up so fast that it’s freighting. It’s time I put myself to work instead of stashing all my wedding stuff in the basement and saying I’ll work on that later. But all-in-all my talk with Jesus was refreshing, it reminds me of all that I have to be thankful for in this heart breaking world I live in today. I have a roof over my head, I have food to eat, a job, and I’ve never been apart of a terrifying attack anywhere in today’s world. I’m so thankful for my Jesus and I’m thankful for these times when I get to slow down and truly think of everything He has provided me with, and continues to do so. But most of all I’m thankful for His love, and His patients with me.

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